After returning home from attending Xiao Wu’s “Art of Parenting” course I gradually woke up and saw the path that lay beyond the door she had opened for me. I discovered that my child spoke and behaved in certain ways in response to things that I said or did. I realized that when my child was throwing a temper tantrum or being difficult, it was really because she was trying to say to me: “Please, look at me! I can’t stand it that you don’t see me for who I am!”
From this moment onwards I no longer thought of a child as being “just” a child, I didn’t ride roughshod over my daughter’s wishes, or adopt the attitude that “I am your mother so you have to listen to me and do as I say. I am absolutely right and you are absolutely wrong! If I am not continually correcting you then you will definitely make the wrong choices and follow the wrong path!” I stopped using my sense of “motherly responsibility” to restrain my daughter and to tie myself up in knots trying to get her to do what I wanted.
To be honest, all I needed to do was to treat my daughter as someone who deserved respect. I decided to stop automatically negating her behavior and needs without listening to what she actually wanted; I learned to actively listen to her desires, to feel her emotions and to give thanks that we were destined to accompany each other throughout this life. I thanked her for choosing me to be her mother, for helping me learn to love myself and to love her just the way she was.